pandemic parody of a Beatles’ song

Corona Face The Future Mouth Guard  - melli666 / Pixabay
melli666 / Pixabay

This pandemic parody is getting less and less funny. It was bad enough with the anti-maskers coming up with conspiracy theories that justified what they saw as their right to put other people in mortal danger. It became worse when Trump and many Republicans fanned the flames by fighting public health mandates designed to protect the population, while simultaneously botching the response to the pandemic.

Yet, the shitshow continues under the Biden administration with Pfizer and Moderna refusing to share their vaccines with a desperate world (unlike what Jonas Salk did with the polio vaccine he invented in the 1950s). This is despite the fact that American taxpayers–not Big Pharma–paid for the development of the vaccines. To add insult to injury to the world, Pfizer is insisting on administering a booster shot to Americans rather than help parts of the world desperately fighting increasingly dangerous virus variants. Pfizer executives have been caught on camera talking about how this vaccine is a profit opportunity. This will only hurt Americans in the long run as more and more dangerous variants of the coronavirus develop.

And, as I mentioned in a previous article, politicians, business leaders and even the CDC keep moving the goalposts by prematurely loosening public health mandates. Now the number of COVID cases are starting to rise in the U.S. once again

Sometimes satire is the only sane response to a shitshow. And the pandemic keeps on becoming more and more of a shitshow. So here is my pandemic parody.

Happiness Is A Cloth Mask
(parody sung to the tune of the Beatles’ “Happiness Is A Warm Gun”)

It’s not a virus that misses much
Do do do do do do, oh yeah

She’s well-acquainted with the touch of a nitrile glove
in a hazmat suit in hospitals
The anti-vaxxer crowd with the multicolored Trump flags and jackboot thugs
Lying with Fox News talking points and Q-Anon conspiracies
An altar to a dumpster fire which they stoked
And donated to the G.O.P.

I need a mask cause I’m going down
Down to the store to get toilet paper
I need a mask cause I’m going out

Conspiracy theorists have jumped the gun
Republican governors jumped the gun
Chambers of Commerce have jumped the gun
Pfizer, Moderna have jumped the gun
CDC spokesperson jumped the gun
Corporate media jumped the gun

Happiness is a cloth mask (inhale, exhale)
Happiness is a cloth mask (inhale, exhale)

When I press you to my face
And I feel air passing through your filter
I know nobody can do me harm

Happiness is a cloth mask (inhale, exhale)
Happiness is a cloth mask (inhale, exhale)
Happiness is a cloth mask (inhale, exhale)
Happiness is a cloth mask (inhale, exhale)

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