17 Rahmat 167 B.E. (Baha’i Calendar)
Soundtrack in my head: Moby, “In My Heart”
Yesterday our kitchen remodeling project got to the point where the kitchen is now functional and useful again. And it already looks like a huge improvement.
The way it has come together is quite remarkable. The MCC staff person found a beautiful stainless steel kitchen sink for $25 at the ReStore (which fit without there really having to be any alterations) and a set of used kitchen cabinets for $175. We have newly levelled floor with new tile, a new stove vent hood, and new butcher-block counter tops. A new refrigerator is located underneath one ofthe countertops. Overall, the MCC staff person believes that the materials for the remodeling have cost less than $1,000 so far.
Yet, despite having been constructed largely from used parts found from here and there, everything seems to fit together beautifully. The colors go together well. Removal of the other refrigerator and the bookshelves that were serving as temporary kitchen shelving have revealed rather nice woodwork that happens to go quite well with the new cabinets and counter tops.
There still needs to be some work done. There will be an island off the southeast wall under which will be the second refrigerator, and a couple of barstools will let it serve as an alternative place to sit down and eat. Some shelving units will be installed on the northeast wall which will be out of reach of tiny childrens’ hands and will allow the woodwork to remain.
It’s as if the various elements of this kitchen were simply waiting to be put together like puzzle pieces. My life has been feeling like that lately.
About three months ago I decided to tune in with God more and work towards haivng greater certitude about the Baha’i Faith one way or the other. I read the Kitab-i-Iqan, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf and am now two-thirds of the way through the Kitab-i-Aqdas. I’ve had a notebook with me to jot down notes–usually things that have resonated with me or things that I have questioned. But there are very few things I have actually questioned.
I told a couple of friends that I had a feeling this exercise would give me clarity not only on my feelings about the Baha’i Faith but also on other aspects of my life. Yet I had no idea just how many things would occur that would force me to have realizations about various aspects of my life.
Over the last few months, remarkable things have been happening that have been giving me insight into my career, my health, relationships, and other things. A lot of things have to do with things about me that need to change. Some of these things have felt like gifts from heaven. Other realizations came about through uncomfortable and less than pretty circumstances. The details of these realizations are not something I can go into right now–some of them are quite personal in nature. Yet all of them point to the potential for remarkable changes in my life with clearer signs as to what direction I need to go. I feel like a snake that is shedding it’s skin over and over again–revealing new patterns within myself that are more beautiful and intricate. Like the kitchen, there is still work to be done, but the possibilities are becoming more exciting.
At this point, I can say that this three-month exercise has resulted in greater certitude in my belief in God and the Baha’i Faith. After I finish the Kitab-i-Aqdas, I’m going to review Ruhi Books 1 and 2. I’d decided before that I wanted to suspend my study of the Ruhi books until I had greater certitude, but I have that now, and plan on continuing the series, as well as continuing to read more of Baha’u’llah’s writings.
I’ve been telling friends that when one feels the for need guidance on things, tuning in with God in a way that feels the most right and natural can reveal wonders.