a Walgreens toy frog that might scare Miss Piggy

Soundtrack in my head:  The Shins, “Caring Is Creepy”

Today, a co-worker received a talking frog for her birthday.  Well, not exactly a talking frog but one of those Walgreens toys you often find at  that has words, songs or sound effects coming through a tinny sounding speaker.  At any given day in a Walgreen’s, you might hear from another aisle a Halloween toy emitting a blood-curdling scream or a fake mounted trophy fish that turns its head towards you and wiggles its tail while singing “Take Me To The River.”

Until recently, my parents had a miniature Christmas tree with a motion sensor that would cause these heretofore invisible eyeballs to open up and start moving around, and a previously invisible mouth would start singing Christmas carols. My parents enjoyed freaking out their cats with it.  Actually, I think it was capable of playing any cassette tape, so you could have it lip-sync Britney Spears, the White Stripes, or your college professor from a lecture you recorded earlier in the day.  Right before my parents moved to Albuquerque, a neighborhood kid bought the tree at their garage sale–I’m sure his parents are pleased.

So my co-worker has this frog that says “Ribbit,” and then emits this cartoonish, hysterical, and yes, somewhat maniacal laughter that can be heard across the room.  I think it just lasts thirty seconds, but it seems a lot longer because it just keeps on going and going and going. I searched on YouTube to see if I could find it, and this comes closest.

Upon hearing this laughter, my first reaction was, “Okay, what kind of mind would conjure up the notion of a frog laughing so hard that it would sound like a screeching monkey?”  My second reaction was, “Bartender, I’ll have what the amphibian is having.”

All I can say is that someone with way too much time on his hands is making entirely too much money thanks to the exposure Walgreen’s gives his products.  The world is a better place for it–I think…

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